Snail Ship

Captain Fitzroy and his crew were ready to set sail; in fact, they had been ready for a very long time.  Most captains of sailing ships were at the mercy of the tides, or the trade winds, but this ship had a completely different set of problems.  His majestic, great-snail ship was at the complete mercy of its gigantic, shelled gastropod, who at the present time, was not cooperating.  'Big Larry,'  as they called him, wasn't interested in sailing.  Perched on the top of his massive, crustacean-covered shell, the ship and its crew were along for the ride.  For a solid month, the snail slid up and down the tiny hill on the deserted island.  Up and down, up and down they went.  The sailors enjoyed it for the first two dozen times and then it wasn't fun anymore, but Big Larry sure got a kick out of it.

The captain tried everything he could think of to encourage his snail to set sail, but Larry wasn't listening.  Some of his crew tried to jump ship, but they ran out of rope trying to descend down the snails slippery shell and had to climb back up.  Captain Fitzroy even had to quella mutiny of the crew.  They planned to set fire to the ship in the hopes that it would lead the snail to water to quench the flames.  Things were getting desperate.  Just when the captain had almost given up all hope, a French frigate was spotted on the horizon.  The ship lurched suddenly, as Big Larry about faced and slid as quickly as he could towards the awaiting ocean.  There were two things that the gigantic snail hated: Frenchmen and garlic butter, and the French frigate had both on it.  He wouldn't be anyone's escargot!