Inktober 2017 day 28-fall:

'Merde (poop)!' L'Oeuf (The Egg) swore.  He was heading towards the falls.  Marie, his canoe, was not behaving.  He tried sweet talking her in French, whilst paddling like a madman, but still she would not turn from the precipice.

He was going to fall over the falls!  Fall over falls?!  Sacre bleu (dismay)!  English was such a stupid, ridiculous language!  It made no sense.  Whoever had invented it must have been a crazy person.  Sighing regretfully, Marie and L'Oeuf went over the edge, into the maelstrom of the falls.  'Maybe I should have sweet talked her in English?!' he screamed, as they splashed into the raging waters below.